- Have decided to start expressing all of my pent-up frustration and rage the only way I know how: the wave.
- Have also decided to start implementing simple deterrent practices at work. Too often do I let an annoying coworker continue with unacceptable behavior. From now on, I'm going to start arriving at work armed with a spray bottle and when someone pisses me off I'm going to spray them with water and yell "No! That's BAD! No!" It works for the cats; I see no reason why it shouldn't work at the office.
- Was recently told by an acquaintance that I was too nice and they were afraid of offending me. Clearly this blog is not widely read.
- Several weeks ago the term 'partial-birth abortion' was being bandied about the office. Really? This is appropriate office talk now? REALLY? I nipped that in the bud right quick, I'll have you all know.
- EW's Entertainers of the Year: #1. Robert Downey Jr. + #2. Tina Fey = Welcome to the inside of my head. It's a sexy place in here.
- So I drive the exact same way to work every day and have been for the last 5 months. The other day I'm examining the signage for the sushi restaurant that I have little-to-no interest in when I notice that beneath the name of the restaurant (Maki-Zushi) is the phrase "hardcore sushi." Hardcore sushi? What does that even mean? Like, as if eating raw fish wasn't intense enough ... no, this sushi, it is HARDCORE. I can only imagine this means that it's been sitting in a bucket in an alley for three days before you eat it because DUDE, IT'S JUST THAT EXTREME. Psh. Hardcore sushi. Bitch, please.
- Meh is now a sanctioned word. Next up? Blurgh.
- The Drama Ratio: The amount of bullshit you are willing to deal with in pursuit of carrying on a relationship with a person. Factors effecting said ratio can include attractiveness, entertainment value, intellectual stimulation, potential for intercourse and a variety of other things. Ultimately, an individual consistently surpassing their established Drama Ratio should be abandoned, preferably in an empty field in the middle of nowhere. DO YOU HEAR THAT, DANIEL?!
- I walked around for a good portion of the day yesterday with a small piece of oatmeal on my shirt in the area of my left breast. That's right, I was walking around work with what I can only assume people thought was a large booger on my boobie. And I wonder why no one respects me at work. Also, I routinely use the word boobie. So there you go.
- There is nothing so singularly annoying as trying to consume tuna fish in the presence of my cats. I was pretty upset about it earlier until I realized that it was disturbing for my cats and I to enjoy the same foods. Kind of put me off my sandwich.
- Developing internet theory: If you only have one photograph of yourself that you show people and in said picture you look creepy/ugly/like a cyberstalker, you are, most likely, creepy/ugly/a cyberstalker. Pre-judging at it's finest!
